Discipline, Systems and Limits

When you hear the word discipline what do you think of?

David Goggins, cold showers, 5 am starts?

It has become a buzzword over the past few years, an umbrella term with so many associations and definitions. Much like the words God and happiness, its meaning has become blurred. Its impact, tainted.

I stopped trying to be disciplined for a while. Tired of not living up to expectations or setting standards based on some influencer’s idea of what should and shouldn’t be done.

Entropy took over, and I sunk back into chaos. For a time it was freeing to do whatever, whenever. To not worry about consequences, plan or be restrictive. But chaos was only fun for so long, cracks began to show. The realisation that tasks I set out to do weren’t being completed. That what I said was important, fell to the wayside in favour of fleeting pleasure and easy thrills. Each moment, each decision, which leaned in favour of instant gratification, only made future me’s life more difficult.

A slow-coming conclusion has returned to my mind with a fresh point of view. That discipline isn’t about rules or regimentation;

Discipline is simply living intentionally.

It’s the difference between driving a car and taking a mystery bus. In the car you are in control of the direction, destination, speed and if you stop. On a mystery bus, you don’t know the destination, you don’t control the route you take and when or how often you stop. You are along for the ride. A passenger princess to whatever algorithm, distraction, emotion or person decides to come along and change your trajectory.

Wasting time on distractions you never set out to do. Unconsciously scrolling to realise 30 minutes had passed and all you wanted to do was reply to one message and get back to your day.

How many hours, days and weeks are accidentally spent? How many potential hobbies, interests and opportunities have been missed due to a lack of time?

The reality is not a lack of time, but a lack of intention.

Complete freedom is chaos, regimented structure is robotic. Structured freedom is the sweet spot.

Picture this, you have developed a process which allows you to carry out everything you deem valuable on a given day. You wake up early, hit a workout, meditate, eat healthy and whatever else you wanted to get done. Then you have a time block to do whatever the fuck you want. Without the guilt, worry or afterthought of what you “should have been doing”. A time to be spontaneous and let loose or a time for rest and relaxation. A balance between relentless pursuit and playfulness. A symphony of structure and flow. the freedom to have flexibility but the rigidity to complete what’s necessary.

So how do we create such a system? And more importantly, how do you stick with it?

The system:

Make a list of the non-negotiables for each day. For example;

• Exercise, meditate, go outside, Eat healthy, and asleep by 12pm.

Make the goal specific. Chunking each down to the smallest, achievable task specific to a time/ location.

For example:

• I will meditate for 1 minute at my desk, straight after waking up.

This is both intentional and easy enough to remain consistent.

The limitations:

What are the limitations that have previously stopped you from carrying out a structured routine?

Here are some reasons I previously struggled with sticking to systems:

• Lack of consistent bed and waketime

• Unrealistic or non-specific goals

• Reactive to emotions over following through with a plan (impulsive)

• Reason why I’m doing it not present/ not remembered at inflection point

Let’s say there are 2 versions of you. Self 1 is the one who wants to live intentionally and creates a structure to follow and live the way they truly want. But Self 2 comes along, who is tired, hungry, emotional, impulsive and ignores Self 1’s intentions to do whatever the fuck they want. Sound familiar?

A common mistake is not having systems in place so that Self 2 can’t derail the progress of Self 1.

This is a process of trial and error, a science experiment testing different hypotheses. Self 2 is cunning and will find loopholes, so be ready.

I tend to watch a lot of YouTube in bed, late at night. Staying up way past my intended bedtime, borrowing this time from the next day and ultimately having a negative impact. The reason why I want to wake up early is that the quantity (amount of day) and quality (what’s done in the day) improve massively leaving me more fulfilled and energised.

To combat this, I stopped YouTube from working between the hours of 10 pm and 7 am. But self 2 just used Disney +, prime or anything else to disassociate for multiple hours. So now the bed is a no-phone zone. A piece of paper with a banned phone icon currently rests on my pillow and settings to restrict any app which could be binged as a failsafe.

The reason why I want to change my behaviour. The paper as a physical reminder and a failsafe on my phone. a 3-step system to prevent self 2 from taking over.

Yes, this fixes the binge problem but does not address the root cause and right now, I’m okay with that. The desired outcome is a behaviour change, which is achieved through this method. It is not THE method but A method.

To summarise:

• Identify the times or areas of your life you are making undesirable decisions

• Outline what the ideal outcome would be

• Create a strong why behind the ideal outcome

• Understand what happens that prevents that from happening

• Find the potential cause, and create a method or failsafe that can prevent that cause. Iterate, test and repeat until the desired outcome is reached.

Remember, discipline is just living intentionally. Whatever that means to you. I hope this helps and as always,

Stay Curious.

Morgan Bedford